Living Together vs. Marriage

1 Corinthians 7:2 (NKJV)

“Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (NKJV)

“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Back in the day, we would call it “shacking up,” or “playing house.”

Even “common law marriage.” That if you’re living together for years, by the world’s standard, you’re a couple. But according to Biblical standards, YOU’RE FORNICATORS.


Shacking up is a mild way of calling it fornication.

Just because Covid is around, it didn’t stop sexual immorality.

Loneliness is no excuse to sin before God. Of course, no one should be lonely. It’s an empty feeling, however, to fill the void the way the Lord desires is for you to be filled with Him. Sin never fills the void. In fact, sin is always lonely. Why? It’s like looking for something, other than God, to satisfy you, and nothing satisfies better than God.

Sin leaves an empty feeling because, sin is offensive to the Lord, and then the conscience is offended because your heart has knowledge of God’s law.

The word con-science means “with (con) knowledge (science).

God placed in all of us, what’s right and what’s wrong.

You already know that living together is against God’s command.

Therefore, you’re without excuse.

Many people claim that there’s “benefits” to living together. With living together, you come and go as you please. You don’t have to worry about the costs of divorce. But these “so called benefits” is still a gross sin before the Lord.

Other benefits is pooling your finances to make ends meet. Living under one roof. Sharing the responsibilities. It’s a great set up. “I see nothing wrong with living together,” you might say.

While it’s rare. Extremely rare. Many will claim that they’re not having sex. But you have to come to some agreement that even if this is true, that even if you’re not having sex with each other, you can’t rule out that you and your live in partner could be having sex with someone else, or watching porn and masturbating.

No one watches porn and not release sexual tension in masturbation (see Matthew 5:27-30).

Remember, all liars and fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

In fact, in Revelation 21:8, these words is very serious.

“But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”

So if you’ve lied about not having sex, and you’re fornicators, should you die before repentance, this verse will become your reality.

The most hurtful thing is not to tell you the truth, and the reality of this verse comes upon you. And the anger within you because of telling you the truth rises because you have to make a decision. You’re compelled to stop your hypocrisy and getting it right before the Lord.

You must acknowledge that what you’ve been doing is sinful before the Lord. And then decide to marry the one you’re with or part ways.

It’s a heavy decision because for years, no one has confronted you about living together. In fact, in the background of your silence, you’re hearing the voice of the Lord but you’re hesitant because you seem to believe that there’s no harm.

You’re suppressing the truth in unrighteousness (see Romans 1:18).

Just because to you, it seems that there’s no harm, look at this verse of Scripture.

Proverbs 16:25 (NKJV)

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.

In John chapter 4, the Samaritan woman came to Jacobs’ well to draw water. The Lord Jesus had a conversation with her that revealed her sin condition. She had 5 husbands and the one that she was with wasn’t her husband.

She gave up on marriage and settled for sin. In fact, her repeated marriages qualified her are a roving adulteress, unless all of the husbands that she was with, committed adultery.

She was shacking up. She was living with a man that wasn’t her husband.

The Lord Jesus didn’t condemn her but He convicted her.

True conviction gets to the problem to rectify the situation.

She tried to cover her sin by showing Jesus that she was a worshipper, but the Lord revealed to her that her worship was flawed.

The Father seeks true worshipers that worship the Father in spirit and in truth.

She was a false worshipper.

All that she ever looked for was in the Lord.

All that she ever looked for, her sin was considered the answer as to way she either ran into bad abusive men, or men that got what they’ve wanted (sex), or men that couldn’t dwell with her in understanding because of the hardness of their hearts, or she may be verbally abusive, or very difficult to live with, headstrong, or had lust in her heart for other men.

There’s always issues on BOTH SIDES of the fence.

But living with each other doesn’t justify it.

IF you don’t want to get married, you’re not entitled to the benefits associated with marriage.

Published by The Minister's Crucible

The Minister's Crucible is designed to inform the Body of Christ about the inner workings of the ministry. The word Crucible from Latin, is "crux" where we get the word "cross" from. It also means a "metal container" where metals and other substances are melted or are subjected to higher temperatures, put to the temperature test. The Lord Jesus said "If any man desires to follow after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me." Let's take up our cross and follow Him.

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